Saturday, August 08, 2009
My Hope-er Broke
Over two cups of coffee this morning I was talking to my friend Chanders about how my heart has been unsettled lately. Trying to talk it out. Trying to preach the gospel to each other. I think my hope-er is broke and I need it repaired.
Some of my restlessness is coming down off the mountain top of a great mission trip to Pearlington MS for Katrina rebuilding. Partly I'm scattered, covered and smothered because I have an important job that requires a lot out of me. Part of the struggle is that this world is very broken.
But mostly I think its from putting my hope in things other than the LORD.
Things I put my (breakable) hope in:
-raising godly children
-preaching good sermons
-getting all the way out of debt
-leading this awesome church to my definition of 'significant in the Kingdom'
-helping people solve their problems
-being friendly and accepted by everyone
-leading my friends to Christ
-having enough time for myself
-developing 'Restore Life' mercy ministry
-one day getting a PhD
-never messing up beyond what I can clean up myself
-not offending anyone so they will a)join our church or b)not leave
-loving my wife and keeping her happy
My Dashboard for Performance
Yeah, I didn't have to think about that list. It's all right there - right on the dashboard of my life. Telling me how well I'm keeping up expectations, how well I'm doing, how significant I am.
All good things. But none of them are the LORD Himself. I need to hope in the LORD alone. Why?
Because HE is worth all my trust (Psalm 131). He is my only deliverer. (Exodus 15) And partly I not business thinking more highly (or lowly) of myself than the LORD thinks!
Good things that I trust in
are just good things (Romans 1:18ff). But an idol is an idol. Putting my hope in even good things will hammer me if I worship and serve them.
Maybe I'm going to trust Him. He's a better God than all those gods. Maybe I will put my hope in Him alone. Yeah, that'd be good, er the best.