Over two cups of coffee this morning I was talking to my friend Chanders about how my heart has been unsettled lately. Trying to talk it out. Trying to preach the gospel to each other. I think my hope-er is broke and I need it repaired.
Some of my restlessness is coming down off the mountain top of a great mission trip to Pearlington MS for Katrina rebuilding. Partly I'm scattered, covered and smothered because I have an important job that requires a lot out of me. Part of the struggle is that this world is very broken.
But mostly I think its from putting my hope in things other than the LORD.
Things I put my (breakable) hope in:
-raising godly children
-preaching good sermons
-getting all the way out of debt
-leading this awesome church to my definition of 'significant in the Kingdom'
-helping people solve their problems
-being friendly and accepted by everyone
-keeping comfortable
-leading my friends to Christ
-having enough time for myself
-developing 'Restore Life' mercy ministry
-one day getting a PhD
-never messing up beyond what I can clean up myself
-not offending anyone so they will a)join our church or b)not leave
-loving my wife and keeping her happy
My Dashboard for Performance
Yeah, I didn't have to think about that list. It's all right there - right on the dashboard of my life. Telling me how well I'm keeping up expectations, how well I'm doing, how significant I am.
All good things. But none of them are the LORD Himself. I need to hope in the LORD alone. Why?
Because HE is worth all my trust (Psalm 131). He is my only deliverer. (Exodus 15) And partly I not business thinking more highly (or lowly) of myself than the LORD thinks!
Good things that I trust in
are just good things (Romans 1:18ff). But an idol is an idol. Putting my hope in even good things will hammer me if I worship and serve them.
Maybe I'm going to trust Him. He's a better God than all those gods. Maybe I will put my hope in Him alone. Yeah, that'd be good, er the best.
1 comment:
Sorry about your hope-er. When I pray I'll throw a lil something in for ya. And if you need a hug I'm good for that too. If there's any comfort in it, your right where God wants you to be right now, there's nothing you can do to escape from his love, and you cant break yourself beyond his mending abilities.
And when did you start using Chanders (I just ask because its a registered trademark and you need to pay royalties each time you use it).
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